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Freelancing and Yoga Go Together Likeâ€¦ Nutella and Pound Cake

January 6, 2012 By Steph Auteri

I can't even do the pose pictured on my shirt without falling over.

Those of you who have been reading Freelancedom for awhile may have noticed a shift in tone recently.

Part of this has been due to a shift in focus, and in changing goals. Part of it has been due to the emotional/mental shift that comes with improved work/life balance, and with more consistent income (alleluia!).

But a big part of that shift has come from the fact that I now hit up my local yoga studio four to five days a week.

Is that crazy? Maybe. But I’ve come to realize that freelancing and yoga go together like Nutella and pound cake.

Let me explain. When I go to my morning and lunchtime yoga classes, I’m simultaneously pumped up for productivity and made more relaxed despite freelance-related stress. When I go to my evening class, focusing on the poses and meditating in savasana help me turn off my brain before bedtime. Yoga also helps me stretch out the muscles that perpetually ache after hours at the computer. And I’m healthier: mentally and physically. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this good without the help of mood-stabilizing medication.

In fact, yoga has become such a big part of my life that I plan on entering a teacher training program in January 2013. Yoga won’t supplant writing and editing and coaching and singing, but it will become a big part of the mix.

But I know you came here to talk writing. And entrepreneurship. And the freelance life.

Still, I feel that there are a lot of writer-yogis out there, so I thought you might find this interesting.

Basically, to give the rest of you non-yogis a break, I’ve created a Tumblr on which I will now gush about everything yoga. It’s called OMmygod, and I think it’s OMazing (stop rolling your eyes).

Interesting, yoga-related links? Got it.

Fun, funny, and just-plain amazing yoga comics, photos, and videos? You bet.

A picture of me in headstand? Yes. I’ve allowed that to go out into the world.

Also, I’ve been kicking around the idea of planning a yoga/writing retreat for word nerds. Would any of you be interested in that? Let me know, and we can chat about making it the retreat you’ve been dreaming of.

Anyways. Yoga has changed my mindset, and I’ll continue bringing that new sensibility to my Freelancedom posts. I hope you don’t mind. But with this new outlet, I’m hoping I can keep things — dare I say it? — balanced.

How has your freelance focus shifted over the past few years?

Filed Under: balance, ommygod, shameless self-promotion, tumblr, yoga

One Simple Step To Landing More Work

January 4, 2012 By Steph Auteri

As mentioned previously, December always leaves me with a nasty case of Holiday Brain. I’m easily distracted. By twinkle lights. And Christmas cookies. And the DVR. My work output? Not optimal.

January 1 always has me eager to get back to work. At the same time, I’m so damn used to being lazy, I need to ease my way back in. Cautiously dip a toe into the water. In slow motion.

This past couple of weeks, I’ve definitely been working in slow motion. I’ve been sitting with stacks of magazines, flipping through for story idea inspiration. I’ve done up a couple of Freelancedom posts. I sat down with a directory of literary agents and planned my next moves for pitching my book proposal. I sang a funeral.

But the one low-key thing that’s led to tangible progress?

Reconnecting with others.

A casual, how-about-we email to a blogger-buddy led to a collaborative lecture proposal for an upcoming conference.

Another email landed meÂ my next smart cookie for January’s forthcoming edition of Word Nerd News.

A followup email to someone who had been considering career coaching in late November / early December has gotten me that much closer to a new coaching relationship.

Combination holiday/thank you cards led to a well-paying assignment just before Christmas, an update (and promise of forthcoming work) from another client, and the galley for a book I’d been eyeing.

A quick check-in with my fabulous writing partner gave me a strong lead on a possible designer for my e-workbook.

And query followups with two publications had editors asking me for more pitches.

I’m not suddenly rolling around in money, laughing maniacally as my cats look on, slightly alarmed. But it’s still not too shabby for January 4.

How can you easily reconnect with those in your network, leading to the possibility of future collaboration?

send a “what’s up?” email
suggest getting together for coffee… or for several glasses of pinot noir
send along a link to an interesting article or silly video that made you think of them
brainstorm fun-and-possibly-ridiculous ventures for the new year and ask your contacts to get involved
shoot an editor or client a thank you e-card (or opt for snail mail to give it an extra punch) to let them know how much you appreciate the opportunity to work with them
touch base with editors and clients about what they might need in the new year
send query followups
have a Skype powwow with your fellow freelancers to discuss plans for the new year

And… you know… whatever. This list is just a starting point.

Of course, reunions like these go smoother if you’ve been good about maintaining these relationships. Emailing someone you haven’t spoken to in 11 years? A little weird. (Though I’ve totally done it, mostly out of nostalgia. I have no shame.)

But you guys already knew that.

So. First action step for 2012? Reach out and touch someone.

But not in a creepy way.

Filed Under: correspondence, followup, reconnect

Spill It: Whatâ€™s Your Next Move?

December 27, 2011 By Steph Auteri

I’ve never been one to make a fuss out of New Year’s Eve, or to saddle myself with once-a-year resolutions. I reevaluate my goals almost every month, allowing each day to be a new beginning.

Still, after the overeating and undersleeping that is the holidays, I admit I feel especially compelled to ask myself:Â What’s next?

Otherwise, gravity and lack of inertia might keep me from ever resuming work again.

I feel especially dazed and bloated today. Last week, I baked seven pound cakes and six varieties of Christmas cookies. I chopped and pureed six cauliflowers and trimmed and roasted six pounds of Brussels sprouts to bring to Christmas dinner (an affair that lasted 8.5, long hours). Then, the day after Christmas, I hosted a dinner party at my condo. Because — apparently — I wasn’t yet tired of cooking and stuffing my face.

For the love of god, I need something new and exciting to pull me back into my work. So what’ll it be?

1. I received Sambuchino’s 2012 Guide to Literary Agents for Christmas, so I’m going to read through it and start my third wave of queries for my book proposal.

2. I’ve finished putting together a freebie I think you’ll really enjoy. I just need to find someone to make it pretty for me before it makes its grand debut. Anyone want to talk design and layout rates with me?

3. 2011 was filled with big projects from regular clients and, as a result, querying fell by the wayside. I’d like to make a big return to querying new markets, just to keep my mix of projects and assignments interesting.

4. This year, I’m going to push myself in new ways, even if it makes me want to projectile vomit. To that end, I’m going to start pulling together my panelist presentation for April’s ASJA conference, and also put together a proposal for another conference I’d like in on in May.

5. I know. I should be thinking about Word Nerd Networking. And I have chatted with several people about organizing a digital publishing panel, and a yoga + journaling workshop. But what I’ve really been daydreaming about is putting together a yoga and writing retreat. The place I went to the other month is open to proposals for new retreats. So I’m going to start chatting with other retreat organizers and taking a close look at other retreat agenda’s in an effort to design The Most Perfect Retreat Ever. Suggestions are welcome.

So what’s next for you?

Filed Under: career path, goal, new year, resolution, spill it

A Holiday Recipe for Freelance Success

December 20, 2011 By Steph Auteri

I've opted not to show you the flour- and batter-spattered countertops.

It’s five days until Christmas, and Holiday Brain has reached a fever pitch.

Yesterday, I baked two Nutella Swirl Pound Cakes while my Christmas mix played and the tree lights twinkled. It was so effing cozy and festively charming that my brain almost imploded. This morning, I baked a lemon pound cake and, tonight, I’ll be doing up five varieties of holiday cookies with my mom and brother.

I still have two more pound cakes to go.

I’ve also spent the past three weekends driving around with my husband and looking at holiday light displays whilst sipping eggnog lattes and mint hot chocolate. And doing up ridiculous holiday e-cards that heavily feature my cats being forced to wear holiday outfits. And planning holiday dinner parties and party parties.

Clearly, my mind is on one thing, and one thing only.*

Don’t worry. I won’t hold out on you. Here. Let me share one of my favorite holiday recipes:

Freelance Success:

- 3 oz. passion for an industry, profession, or talent you happen to have

- 1/4 lb. willingness to educate yourself on the aforementioned passion

- 1 c. bravery; you’ll need it to go full-time freelance

- 1.5 c. willingness to network your damn ass off, and maintain those connections you make

- 2 tbsp. innovation and creativity

- 2 tsp. knowledge that you can’t just create; you have to sell yourself, too

- 1 c. self-discipline

Mix all of these ingredients in a large bowl. Pour the batter into a loaf pan and bake at 350 degrees for five or so years. Hint: The flavor changes the longer you let it bake. Just take care not to burn yourself out.

If you need some help in the kitchen, there are 11 days left for you to purchase my special holiday coaching package: One Hour to a Word Nerd Action Plan.

If you’d prefer the recipe to either the Nutella Swirl or lemon pound cakes, feel free to contact me.

Good luck and happy holidays!

*Though for some reason, I still haven’t wrapped a single one of my presents.

Filed Under: baking, career path, christmas, freelance, holiday, recipe, success

The Top 10 Bookmark-Worthy Blog Posts of 2011

December 16, 2011 By Steph Auteri

At my last quasi-regular job (permalance editor at an online publication specializing in love- and relationship-related content), the end of the year was always marked by a mad scramble to throw together an assortment of “best of” and “top 10″ lists. Top 10 Love Songs of 2010. Top 10 Love Trends of the Decade. Best WTF Love-Related Moments. Best Sex Scenes. You get the picture.

As commonplace and cliche as they’ve become, everyone loves a good list. Even me. Especially me. Because when I was drawing together my Top 10 Bookmark-Worthy Blog Posts of 2011, I quickly noticed that almost all of them were lists.

A list of lists. How meta.

But even if you’ve grown weary of listicles, I hope you’ll find this one useful. It contains blog posts — all published in 2011 — that I keep returning to… posts I found so useful I couldn’t help bookmarking them for future use.Â They were justÂ that full of awesome resources and easily-executable tips.

Together, they comprise a handy-dandy resource manual for building a better, stronger business.

So assuming your entrepreneurial muscles could use some flexing…

1. 50 Questions to Ask Yourself After 6 Months of Freelancing.Â Whenever I think I’ve found the perfect work/life balance, something inside me shifts, and I find myself growing in a completely new direction. Shifts like these have led to me moving from editorial to marketing. They have led to me going full-time freelance. They have led to my career coaching certification, Â ghostwriting, and yoga. By this point, I’ve learned that it’s always good to reevaluate your goals. Which is why I love Laura Spencer’s collection of questions you should ask yourself after six months of freelancing. Though I’d take it further. I’d ask yourself these questions every six months, or even every month, from now into eternity.

2. 12 Ways to Turn Your Old, Dusty Blog Archive into Cold, Hard Cash.Â Carol Tice is the queen of the idea-heavy listicle. Here, as a guest poster on the always-educational Copyblogger, she suggests 12 ways to diversify… using content you’ve already created. How’s that for efficiency? From teleclasses to ebooks, she offers up information products and services to fit any comfort level. Because in an age of shrinking freelance budgets, one can’t survive by writing listicles alone.

3. 109 Ways to Make Your Business Irresistible to the Media.Â It would be so awesome if Ellen invited me onto her show to dance awkwardly together to the latest LMFAO song and chat about my career coaching business. But Ellen likely doesn’t know who the hell I am. And that’s okay. I haven’t really done a damn thing to grab her attention. This Copyblogger post offers up 109 ways to grab Ellen’s attention. Or get local newspaper coverage. Or end up as the guest of honor on a radio show. Now what’s your excuse?

4. 40 Questions You Need to Ask Every Copywriting Client. Let’s put aside fame and fortune for the moment. We’re supposed to be making money here. Land those projects, yo! But wait. Be careful. Don’t say yes to everyone. And don’t even say yes to the best possible clients without first nailing down all the details. What do you need to know before signing that contract? Again, Carol Tice has the answers. Or the questions, rather. 40 of ‘em. From “When do you need this project completed?” to “Who is your target audience?”

5. 110 Ideas to Get More Freelance Work and Generate New Client Leads. Okay. Carol’s not the only one who can whip up a mean listicle. Over at FreelanceSwitch, blogging buddy Susan Johnston provides some major lead-generating inspiration. Because as we recently discussed, no matter how hot your business is, those slow periods will pop up, and you will need to get back to hustling your little booty off.

6. How to Failproof Your Business.Â Ohmygod. A non-listicle. Let’s hold it together, people. So I may have just broken the rules of this list. This link doesn’t exactly point to a blog post. Rather, it’s a landing page for a video series created by Dave Navarro and Naomi Dunford. I have to include it, though. Out of all the content I’ve come across this past year, this video series has been one of the most educational. In fact, it’s so fantastic, I can’t believe it’s free. From how to build a list to how to close, this series has been a big part of my recent success. And I wish the same success for you, too. So watch it, punks.

7. 45 Kick-Ass Resources for Online Entrepreneurs. A list of resources within a list of list-y resources. Now we’re really meta. But this list is a good one, and contains some of my own favorite resources, including a couple that are heavily featured on this very list.

8. 50 Ways to Get a Freelance Gig.Â Oh Carol. We have to stop meeting this way. If you haven’t gotten the picture yet, I’ll spell it out for you: Subscribe to Carol’s blog. That is all.

9. Life Cycle of a Book. This one’s a little different from the other posts on this list, but I was absolutely delighted with it when I first saw it, and I think it’s a must see/read for any reader of my blog who’s interesting in someday writing a book. This series of videos (fine; I did it again) takes the viewer through the life cycle of a book (obvs), from the very first draft through to publicity (by both publishing house and author). It’s a great way to learn about the entire publishing process (writer, agent, editorial, production, etc.), and there’s even a pretty infographic you can download and hang up. Check it.

10. Are Your Supposed Weaknesses Actually Your Strength?Â Finally, I took a look through my analytics to find out which Freelancedom post was the most popular this year. I was surprised by the result. This post of mine is more inspirational than applicable. And it even includes homework! But maybe y’all love stories of vengeance and redemption. Or maybe it gave you hope. Or maybe — just maybe — you found it helpful to see yourself through someone else’s eyes. We tend to see the worst in ourselves. Other people? They see the best.

Did I miss anything so holy-shit awesome that you sorta want to key my car? Leave a link in the comments, and let us know why it deserves a spot on this last. Thanks y’all!

Filed Under: 2011, blog post, bookmark, link love, listicle, resource, Resources, top 10

How To Fish For (Those Completely Deserved) Compliments

December 14, 2011 By Steph Auteri

Still trying to build up your freelance biz? There’s (probably) no need to drop your life savings on a slick advertising campaign, or on glossy, high-priced direct mail marketing. Over the years, time and experience have shown that word-of-mouth marketing is best.

Sure, I’ve broken into new markets by cold querying and social media marketing. But word-of-mouth marketing is still how I connect with the majority of my coaching clients. It led to my inclusion in the Young Entrepreneur Council’s inaugural group of members. It’s the primary reason I was asked to be a panelist on that ASJA sex writing panel in the spring. And it’s led to numerous writing and editing projects over the years.

You may believe that word-of-mouth marketing is out of your hands (and to some extent, it is). But if you’re looking to build legitimacy for your business, you can still use those satisfied clients to your advantage in a more deliberate way.

I’m talking testimonials, people. And all you have to do is ask for them.

Maybe you feel weird about asking your clients to talk you up. Maybe you figure that — if they really liked you — they’d do it on their own.

And they might.

But if you straight upÂ ask for testimonials (and you ask for them using the types of thought-provoking questions that make for the most effective testimonials), you can then use them on your website, in your e-newsletter, in your email signature, on your blog… wherever you think they’ll be most visible to your target client.

And these solid endorsements from others will show those stillÂ hesitatingÂ to open their wallets that you have a proven track record of solving problems just like theirs.

So how can you score those eye-catching testimonials? Promotional wordsmith Alexandra Franzen makes it easy with her latest info-product: Five Scripts to Rake in the Praise.

Remember when I offered those freebie email templatesÂ you could use for asking your boss the tough questions? (Questions likeÂ Can I telecommute? and Will you hate me if I resign?)

Alexandra’s Five Scripts is sort of like that. Except way prettier. And with templates for multiple testimonial-gathering situations. Such as:

confidently requesting a testimonial from a current client
prompting your client with the types of questions that make for the most effective love notes
scoring a belated testimonial from a long-ago client
requesting advance praise for a soon-to-be-released product
taking previously written praise and spreading it among your advocates and fans

And like Alexandra herself, the scripts are bold and colorful, including such turns of phrase as “your words of support are like solid gold for my business” and “with wiggly anticipation.” (Seriously. This Alexandra chick is my kinda wordsmith.)

You can send out these scripts word for word… or you can use them as jumping-off points, allowing them to inspire you to new heights of writerly radiance that smack of your own huggable personality.

If nothing else, these scripts will stand as shining examples of what can be accomplished with top-notch copywriting.

Alexandra’s Five Scripts to Rake in the Praise is available for only $15 [not an affiliate link; I just think this product is quality and cool], but one lucky Freelancedom reader will receive it for free. Just leave a comment below with the five adjectives you wish your clients would use to describe you. (Example: Relatable. Honest. Funny. Empathetic. Looks like Zooey Deschanel.)

OR.

If you’re more interested in Alexandra’s Five Scripts to Fill Your Client Docket, leave a comment below describing your dream project/client, because I have one of those to give out as well.

Dream big, word nerds! Dream big.*

* I will be excepting entries through midnight on Thursday, December 22. I will email the winners on Friday, December 23.

Filed Under: alexandra franzen, correspondence, email, Resources, script, template, testimonial

Want To Build Your Business? Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

December 9, 2011 By Steph Auteri

The other week, I wrote a post about how choosing the more difficult path can lead to both personal and career growth. After all, if you’re not challenged by the work you’re doing — if you’re not learning — how can you possibly move forward?

Oftentimes, that difficult path involves merely putting on pants, or ignoring the evil siren song of your DVR queue. But sometimes, the more difficult path involves doing something you’re bat-shit petrified of.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said that you should “do one thing every day that scares you.” As a self-hating wuss, this appeals to me.

And as I read Noelle Hancock’s memoir, My Year with Eleanor (in which she tries to do one scary thing a day, for a year), I can’t help but think that in order to go bigger and better in 2012, I need to be challenging my wuss-tastic self even more.

I mean… my most satisfying accomplishments of the past year were also completely terrifying. Doing a reading during Lit Crawl NYC. Joining a yoga studio. Going on a yoga retreat all by my lonesome. Co-hosting a large-scale speed networking event. How can I push myself even further in 2012? How can you?

I’ve already agreed to be a panelist at the ASJA conference this coming spring (Writing About Sex, Saturday, April 28, 10:45 a.m. – 11:45 a.m., Roosevelt Hotel, NYC). Instead of reading a previously-published essay word-for-word off of a piece of paper (which was terrifying in itself, even though I was drunk), I have to prepare a 10-minute presentation, which I will then deliver to a room full of established writers. While sober.

All of my fellow panelists are published authors. I am only a co-author. Of an ebook. And I hate public speaking. I’m going to die. (Of shame, and of blunt force trauma to the head when I pass out and fall.)

But if I don’t die, I may gain some welcome visibility from both editors and potential coaching clients. And the appearance will also strengthen the sex writing platform I’m building up as I query lit agents with my book proposal.

What other scary things could I try in 2012?

raising my rates
becoming a yoga teacher trainee
getting my shit together and throwing some new Word Nerd Networking events
querying outside of my niche
auditioning for a secular choir or a cappella singing group
attending more industry events (sans Xanax)

What’s one scary thing you’d like to try in the coming year in order to build your freelance business?

Filed Under: career path

How To Keep Up the Momentum During the Holidays

December 7, 2011 By Steph Auteri

I’ve been seeing it a lot lately. Fellow freelancers tweeting out that their calendars have opened up enough to allow for new business. I did it myself just last week.

Is it something in the air? Have our work cycles somehow become synced up? Are all of our regular clients just too damn busy stringing up twinkle lights and hanging stockings to bother with assigning out new work?

Part of it is the conclusion of another fiscal year. Large projects are ending. Annual budgets are drying up. Clients are holding back until 2012… fiddling with their editorial calendars… treading water until they feel safe spending money again.

Another part of it is Holiday Brain. Between all of those projects we just wrapped up, all of those pound cakes and soups we just made for Thanksgiving, and all of that holiday shopping we now have to do, we completely forgot about marketing ourselves. I mean, who has time to hustle when there are catnip candy canes and glittery tree ornaments to be bought!?

Unfortunately, considering how much money we tend to spend during the holiday season (buying a third ceramic Christmas tree was totally worth it), we need new income now more than ever.

So how can you make the holidays work for you?

Give one last end-of-the-year, holiday-themed marketing push:

throw an industry holiday party, at which all attendees leave with a stocking full of business cards, coupons, and candy cane kisses.
hold a workshop for writers, teach an e-course, or throw together a teleclass on targeting your pitches toward the (other) holidays.
speaking of targeted pitches, start brainstorming… for the fourth of July.
throw a holiday sale on your most popular products and/or services.
hold a holiday contest… look to relevant companies and collaborators in order to put together a kick-ass list of prizes.
gift your favorite clients with a holiday discount… or even with a small gift just to show you appreciate them. (Susan Johnston recently shared her own gift ideas here.)
make like Santa and gift every blog in your particular universe with a guest post. Well. Assuming they want one.
instead of a cookie swap or Secret Santa extravaganza, organize a product/service swap among those within your professional network. Watch new professional relationships bloom.
volunteer your time (and promote yourself as an expert) byÂ answering questions on sites like Brazen Careerist or LinkedIn, or responding to reportersâ€™ queries on HARO.
crash all the other holiday industry parties in your general area.
go caroling with local freelancers, and end with hot cocoa and career-related brainstorming for the new year back at your place.
[INSERT ANY OTHER FUN, SILLY, RIDICULOUS, HOLIDAY-RELATED THING YOU CAN THINK OF. GET CREATIVE, YO!]

Whew! Now I really want to go caroling.

ANYway.

I plan on doing a whole slew of these. But for the moment, I’d like to let you know about my own holiday sale, over at Career Coaching for Word Nerds. Most of you already know that I already offer three career coaching packages at various price points, for those who want to commit to either four sessions, 12 sessions, or 24 sessions of coaching.

From now until December 31, I will be offering One Hour to a Word Nerd Action Plan, a single, one-hour session in which we lay out your plans for the coming year, after which you’ll receive a packet containing all of the action steps we discussed, plus a list of relevant resources.

Note: This does not mean you must schedule your session in the midst of this crazy-as-hell holiday season. It just means you have to purchase this package by the 31st, after which it will wink out of existence, much like the twinkle lights all over your neighborhood. (Um. Unless you have the sort of neighbors who leave that shit up through April.)

Interesting in purchasing the gift that will keep on giving? Head on over to my coaching page and scroll to the bottom for this holiday package.

Then get your ass in gear and start marketing, word nerds!

How have you gotten creative with marketing during holidays past?

Filed Under: holiday, marketing, momentum, productivity, promotion

Spill It: How Do You Handle Rejection as a Writer?

December 1, 2011 By Steph Auteri

I learned early on that — when it came to freelance writing — it was important to bounce back quickly from rejection, keep up the momentum, and flip that pitch.

Because of that early lesson, I’ve never felt too much anxiety when pressing “send” on my query letters and, upon receiving rejections, I’ve typically only felt the barest twinge of disappointment before turning to the next publication on my pitch list. After all, rejection is a reality of the freelance writing life, and not everyone is going to fall all over themselves to publish my work. In fact, despite my being a total genius (obvs), I’m pretty sure at least some of my ideas have been pretty weak.

So my mental reaction when I received my first-ever rejections from my first-ever literary agent queries sort of caught me by surprise.

I spent two hours sending out my first four query letters on the Monday before Thanksgiving. By that point, I had already imagined my book as a done deal. I’d envisioned the book party / speed networking event that would take place at my favorite local cafe. I’d mentally run through the readings that would take place at Babeland and Happy Ending and KGB Bar. I’d considered the other things I would do to promote my book. The local library I’d do a Q&A at. The excerpt I’d send along to Real Simple. The blog tour I’d singlehandedly mastermind (and which my publicist would love me for).

This is all very embarrassing to admit.Â But I figured that imagining my book as a done deal would help it become a reality… would in fact help it manifest, Ã la The Secret.

One of the agents I emailed (my first choice, actually) responded within 15 minutes. He wanted to see my full proposal.Â I nearly had a heart attack, but I forced myself to chill the eff out and then sent along what I had, feeling cautiously hopeful. Somehow, I managed to make it through the week (including Thanksgiving) without going completely crazy from anticipation.

The following Monday, I received his rejection and, later that day, another one.

They were lovely rejections.Â They included words like “talented” and “engaging.” I felt that familiar twinge of disappointment, but I still felt hopeful. Their letters had been rejections, but they had also been personal, complimentary, and constructive. I filed their critiques in the back of Â my mind for use in future revisions, and set about waiting for responses from the other agents.

I spent the next three days being completely unproductive. I wasn’t sure why. It finally occurred to me that I was depressed. What the what!?Â But then I realized what was bothering me. Those two rejections had forced me to consider the difficult possibility that my book might not happen.

Noooooooooo!

I gave up on work and retreated to the sweet, sweet comfort of my pillow-top mattress, plus five layers of blankets and cats. I tried not to think about the readings and book parties that would never happen. I slept for two hours. I allowed myself to mourn.

This morning, I found myself eating Cheetos at 8:30 a.m. and decided it was time to snap the hell out of it. I started putting together the December edition of Word Nerd News. I started writing this blog post. I looked at my agent spreadsheet and made plans for sending out my next wave of query letters. I brainstormed my next steps for drumming up new work.

Clients often ask about my success rate with query letters and LOIs.Â I tell them my success rate is much better than it was when I started. Which makes sense. After all, my portfolio is stronger these days, my network is larger, and my writing has only improved.Â But I also tell them that rejection is still a reality of the freelance writing life, and that it always will be.Â One can’t succeed without accepting that, and working through it.

After all, rejection is not the same as failure.

How do you react to rejection? Do you, too, have weird daydreams about your unpublished book? And have you ever sunk so low as to eat Cheetos at 8:30 a.m.? Spill it.

Filed Under: book proposal, literary agent, rejection, spill it, writing

Donâ€™t Forget To Thank Your Writing Partner

November 24, 2011 By Steph Auteri

Earlier this week, I sent query letters out to four literary agents. This was a big step for me. I’d been dreaming of becoming a published author since the age of 5 and, since then, I’d done absolutely nothing to make it happen. Now I have a book proposal — polished and ready to go — and four query letters out the door.

In fact, within 15 minutes, one of the agents responded to me, asking to see my full proposal. I thought I was going to pass out from excitement, but I pulled it together long enough to send him what I had. He responded almost immediately, saying he would try to get back to me either way by the end of the week.

This very well might mean I’m about to get the quickest rejection ever (well, okay… not ever) but, nevertheless, I’m ecstatic. I’m closer than I’ve ever been to making this happen.

And I never would have done it if I wasn’t being held accountable by my writing partner.

What my writing partner did for me:

helped me choose one big project to focus on
helped me set regular writing, querying, and business goals
helped me set deadlines for the above goals
read my weekly status reports, cheering me on when I was extra productive
threatened my life when I slacked (or just generally emanated an aura of disapproval)
marked up everything I sent her with edit marks and insightful comments and questions
scheduled regular Skype chats with me to discuss those suggested edits (and to talk work gossip, sex, infertility, and Chicken McNuggets)
held me accountable
kept me on track
made my book a possibility, rather than an elusive dream

The day after I sent out those queries, we had another Skype chat. At the end, we discussed what our next writing goals would be. I was feeling distracted by the thought of those book queries. How could I concentrate on anything else!? But I attempted to pull my weight.Â ”I still need to make revisions to that Freelance Awesome Starter Kit,” I said, “but I should really concentrate on developing magazine queries and drumming up new work.”

“Well, can’t you do both?”

Yes. Yes I could.

Lyz Lenz is a so-funny-she’ll-make-you-snort writer who blogs over at LyzLenz.com. She also writes for Babble, TruTV, NewParent, and other publications. We met when I was permalancing at YourTango. She manages the community there (among her many other responsibilities). She lives far, far away (Iowa), but she is my platonic life partner. I’m lucky to have her as my writing partner as well.

And since it’s Thanksgiving and all, I want to thank her. I want to thank her for forcing me to accomplish this despite myself.

Writing partners are one of the best things in the world. They’re up there with Candy Cane Kisses and cats and yoga andÂ So You Think You Can Dance. They’re up there with episodes of Castle and The Sing-Off, and with pillow-top mattresses and coffee. If you need a reminder of why you should get one yourself… well, here.

Have you thanked your writing partner this Thanksgiving?

Filed Under: community, gratitude, thanks, thanksgiving, writing, writing partner