“You need experience and contacts in order to get assignments and jobs, but how do you do that when you are right out of school?”

It’s a good question, especially considering that — when at a loss for how to move forward — many college grads consider just staying in school and pursuing a graduate degree.

I’m of the mind, however, that getting your Masters degree isn’t a necessity. Rather, I think it’s better to dive right in, instead of spending countless hours (and dollars) in a classroom environment.

So how do you prove your credibility when you don’t have a lick of experience?

1. Engage in some continuing education. For cheap. While I never for a second considered going to grad school, I also never stopped learning. And when it comes to continuing education, knowledge isn’t the only thing to gain. You can take a non-credit class (or even an online class) for much cheaper than a for-credit class, and not only hone your skills, but also build your professional network, and perhaps even gain a mentor. I’m also a huge proponent of post-college internships, despite the bad press they’ve been receiving lately. Much more than a bullet point on your resume, you can gain valuable contacts at an internship, valuable experience and — most important of all — clips! Or contact editors and/or industry heavy hitters about the possibility of meeting them for an informational interview. If you make a good impression in the course of milking them for their words of wisdom, they may think of you when the next assignment or job opening pops up.

2. Build up your marketing platform. While you may not have any published clips… yet… you can still establish yourself as an expert in your field by starting up a professional blog, or answering questions on sites like Brazen Careerist and LinkedIn (or both; the more you market yourself, the better!). When you send out query letters, you can then include a link to your blog. This will serve to showcase your writing ability, showcase your knowledge, showcase your web-savvy, and show editors that you have a built-in audience.

3. Start small. When first starting out, I wanted very badly to break into online magazines like Nerve, and print mags like Time Out New York. But upon sending out those first query letters, I received nothing but silence. (sad face) Eventually, however, with clips from New York Press, Playgirl, and SexHerald in hand, and with volunteer experience at $pread, I got my foot in the door at Nerve. From there, I finally got clips from Time Out New York. And so on and so forth, in a snowball effect. If you’re having trouble breaking into the bigger mags, start small, with local publications, or with websites that are working with smaller budgets. They’re more likely to take a chance on untested talent. And once you have those first clips in hand, it will be that much easier to attract the attention of the larger publications.

4. Network like hell. Most of the gigs I have now are thanks to knowing someone who knows someone who needs someone like me. So attend industry events. Connect with both editors and publishing peers on Twitter. Always look to meet and connect with new people. Hiring managers and assigning editors receive an overwhelming amount of applications and pitches from people just like you. How can you stand out? By giving them a face to place alongside your name. It’s so much better to begin a letter with “So great meeting you the other night!” than “Dear EDITOR I HAVE NO CONNECTION TO WHATSOEVER.” Obviously.

5. Prove your awesomeness with a great idea. On to the query letter. Clips aren’t everything. If you can surprise an editor with a really creative and unique idea, they’ll be thrilled. That’s one less thing they’ll have to handle on their end.

6. Prove your awesomeness with your fabulous writing skills. Why do editors look at clips? They want proof that you can deliver. So in a sense, even your query letter is a sort of clip. It can be used to showcase your writing style, your personality, and your ability to conform to the voice of the publication you’re pitching. Which is why I make such a big deal about query letters here at Freelancedom, and why I think you should always work extra-hard on them. As an assistant editor at YourTango, I’m constantly receiving pitches for the LoveMom blog I manage, and e-mails from hopeful intern applicants. If it’s obvious that no effort was made with the cover letter — or if the voice of the letter writer doesn’t mesh with the voice of our site — I immediately move on to the next one, and don’t ever look back.

7. Prove you’re the best person for the job, due to your personal experience. After you’ve grabbed an editor’s attention, they’ll want to know why they should let you have the assignment, rather than handling it in-house. In a situation like this, personal experience can count more than clips. If you’re pitching a story on wine, for example, it can help to tell an editor that you’ve worked in a wine shop or tasting room, or as a sommelier. If you’re pitching a piece on careers or job hunting, being certified as a career coach certainly couldn’t hurt. ;)

8. Prove you’re the best person for the job, due to your connections. For reported pieces, editors will want to know that you have the ability to get choice quotes from the very best sources. Be sure to mention the sources you plan to use when drawing up your query letter.

9. Don’t forget about your transferable skills. This one is an extension of number seven, and I’m reiterating it for those who are applying to jobs, rather than pitching magazines. If you’re switching from book publishing to newspapers, or even changing industries entirely, focus on your transferable skills when updating your resume, rather than your job responsibilities. And don’t rely solely on prior job experience. Remember the skills you’ve picked up from extracurricular activities, volunteer gigs, and the continuing education you’ve pursued.

10. Finally, don’t allow yourself to get discouraged. Some people give up too soon, but there can be a number of reasons for a rejection, or for no response at all. Read this post, and always remember its lessons. Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.

Did you find this post helpful? (Oh god, I hope so; it took forever to write!) We’ll be discussing this type of stuff — and more — in my forthcoming 5 Weeks To Freelance Awesome e-course. The first day of school is Monday, September 13, so you’d better sign up soon! I’ll be waiting with bells on.

Related: How To Write Your Way Into the Best Darn Jobs Ever

If you’ve been dying for a fix of Steph Auteri awesomeness (and of course you have), here are a few new places where you can get it.

1. My recently-launched Career Coaches for Word Nerds Facebook Fan Page. Because apparently, that’s where all the cool kids hang out. Come chat?

2. How To Be A Completely Authentic Tweep (Without Sending People Screaming in the Opposite Direction. Yes, I’m still giving advice on other people’s blog. Social media expert Marian Schembari was kind enough to allow me to do up this guest post at her online space.

3. 5 Time Management Tips for Workaholics. Another guest post, this time at Jesaka Long’s blog, a.k.a. writer. I don’t do vacations. I don’t do morning walks. Sometimes, I don’t even do lunch. Somehow? I still find balance.

4. Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Pecans. Okay. Yes. I’m not actually a food writer. I did this one for fun.

5. Finally, I just wanted to remind y’all to sign up for 5 Weeks To Freelance Awesome. Because it will be. Awesome, that is.

Last week, I ran a contest here at Freelancedom, in which I asked you guys to share your number one freelance roadblock in order to be entered for the chance to win a free spot in my upcoming e-course: 5 Weeks To Freelance Awesome. The variety of responses I received made me even more excited for the course, and not because I sadistically enjoy watching others struggle. Rather, it quickly became obvious to me how much we could all learn and benefit from each other’s experiences, and I couldn’t wait to help each and every one of you.

I chose a contest winner at random over the weekend (congrats Susan!), but I wanted to remind you that, through August 17, you still have the chance to enroll at a deeply discounted price. After that, it’s back to regular price. Feel free to e-mail me with any questions you have about the schedule, platform, pricing, etc.

I hope to see many of you in my virtual classroom this fall. We have so much to talk about!

Related: It Only Takes 5 Weeks To Achieve Freelance Awesome

Say what?

Come on. It makes perfect sense. As Forleo pointed out, you can have the most high-quality product in the world but, unless people know about it, your business is sunk.

Many of us dread marketing as a necessary evil. I know I did. I wanted nothing more than to just practice my art. But recently, I found myself in the middle of some great brainstorming sessions, and I also had a blast writing up my marketing plan. And now? I’m eager to finally put that plan into action.

Have you written up a marketing plan yet? Why not!? Even if you’re not launching a fancy-pants career coaching practice or consulting business, your freelance business could still benefit. And it’s not scary at all! I swear!

Here. I’ll walk you through it.

1. Write up a mission statement.

Your mission statement does not have to be a long and involved magnum opus. It should, however, list your business goals — monetary and otherwise — and should also specify the things that set you apart from the competition.

My mission statement is a mere three paragraphs long, but yours could be longer… or shorter. Either way, this part is important. Writing out your mission statement can help you clarify exactly what it is that you’re trying to accomplish. And as you make future business decisions, you can refer back to it and ask yourself: does this bring me closer to my business goals?

2. Specify your target markets.

Chances are, your product or service won’t appeal to everyone. So list the people you’re trying to help, and get specific.

Once you’ve pinned down your target markets, you can start researching the best ways to reach them. Where do they hang out? Which social networking sites are they on? Which blogs are they reading? Do they participate in any online forums, or attend any professional conferences? Knowing all of this will keep you from marketing blind.

3. List your products.

In times like these, it helps to diversify. To give you an example, here are the products I’m offering through my career coaching practice (plus a few I plan on offering in the future): three different one-on-one coaching packages; several consulting packages; group e-courses and teleclasses; an e-book; and perhaps some swag (mostly because I’m dying to own a travel mug that says “word nerd” on it). Get creative. People may actually be more amenable to purchasing your big-ticket items if they’ve already tried — and loved — your lower-priced offerings. Holy shit! they’ll think. I gots to get me some more of that!

4. List your competition.

And then look to see what they’re doing right. And what they’re doing wrong. And what they’re not doing at all. How can you differentiate yourself from the competition? And, in the end, should you even consider them competition? If you can set yourself apart from them, perhaps it will leave room for future collaborations.

5. Finally, list your marketing tactics.

This is the fun part. (Then again, I get excited when I get the chance to make roasted Brussels sprouts and eat them in bed whilst reading a stack of fashion magazines. Still, I think you might actually enjoy yourself here if you allow yourself to tap into your creative side.) Referring back to number two — your target markets and where they’re hanging out — come up with some marketing ideas that go beyond simply direct mail-bombing people, and pricey space advertising. Think about how you like to be marketed to. What makes you decide to shell out the cash?

And then? Write a really long and wacky list. Seriously. Go all out. You may not end up doing everything on your list, but at least you’ll have options. And the more options you have, the more you’ll know about what works and what doesn’t.

Some of the things that made it on to my list?

• coordinate a speed-networking event, and find a fellow coach, writing prof, media company, educational institution, professional organization, or publishing company to co-sponsor it.
• join a planning committee for or host a panel at an industry-specific conference.
• offer a free giveaway at someone else’s event.
• advertise in industry-specific magazines, blogs, websites, or newsletters.
• hold seasonal contests.
• start a monthly newsletter.
• gather testimonials for my website.
• offer a reward for referrals.
• start focusing my magazine pitches on career-related content (instead of… um… sex).
• promote myself as an expert by answering questions on sites like Brazen Careerist or LinkedIn, or responding to reporters’ queries on HARO.
• create a Facebook page.
• start guest posting like a madwoman.
• attend more networking events.
• etc.

And.. you’re done!

Just don’t file your marketing plan away and forget about it, like I did. Start to market yourself long before you’re ready to launch (you can learn a thing or two about creating buzz right here) or, if it’s too late for that, start right now. And once you’re up and running, don’t stop marketing. Don’t become complacent.

Complacency is the kiss of death.

So. What’s the wackiest thing you’ve done to market yourself?

Related: 12 Ways To Market An Ebook, Product Placement: The Resume T-Shirt

Because — aside from the career advice, the great resources, and the must-click links (seriously, you should sign up) — I had a pretty exciting announcement to make.

This is for those of you who read Freelancedom regularly, but are hungry for more. It’s for those of you who feel you should be pitching more, but don’t know where to start. It’s also for those of you who agonize over your query letters to the point where you’re afraid to send them out. Befuddled by writing contracts? Click through. Want to make your content more palatable for the web? Yeah. You should totally click through. Finally, this is for those of you who don’t feel ready to commit to a coaching relationship, or who don’t need heavy, in-depth coaching, but would benefit from some solid, freelance writing advice. Really. I got your back here.

This coming fall, I’m offering my very first e-course: 5 Weeks To Freelance Awesome. Because — honestly? — work has been good lately, and I’d love to get you to a place where you, too, are bringing in the bucks without lifting a finger.

Over the course of these five weeks, I’ll teach you about idea generation, market research, query writing, contract negotiations, web writing, marketing, diversification, and more. My e-course platform will also allow you to receive direct feedback not only from me, but from your classmates. Together, you’ll be able to brainstorm, bounce ideas off each other, and build up your professional network, all while learning to bring in the bucks!

Oh, and I should mention: through August 17, I’m offering enrollment at $100 off the regular price! (You can use the money you save to buy several pairs of really cute shoes. As a reward for being so thrifty.)

It’s a damn good deal but, because I love you guys so much, I wanted to give one of you the opportunity to take this course for free. Yes. Free.

All you have to do? Leave a comment below on what your greatest freelance challenge has been. Chances are, after being through this e-course, it will no longer be a challenge.

The rest of you? Head on over here.

Related: Receive Some Guaranteed Awesome In Your Inbox

Audacia Ray, sittin' pretty beneath her red umbrella. God how I covet those tattoo sleeves.

Dear readers: I know you come here because I know everything about freelancing ever, and because you love my pretty pretty smile. But every once in awhile, I like to give you the chance to soak up someone else’s wisdom.

To that end, I’m super-duper-excited to introduce Audacia Ray, a prolific media maker and advocate who’s has been an inspiration to me since I started in the sex writing biz almost 10 years ago.

I first met Audacia when she was leading a Safer Sex for Sluts workshop at Sexy Spirits in Manhattan. I began reading her blog soon after, tracking her career as she spread sex positivity through books, magazines, movies, and more. For a short time, I volunteered at $pread, the magazine by and for sex workers that she was the executive editor for. Later on, I did a write-up for New York Press when Audacia had a launch party for The Bi Apple, her porn directorial debut. And I read and loved her book Naked on the Internet: Hookups, Downloads, and Cashing in on Internet Sexploration.

Talk about diversifying! (Can you see why I so love and admire this woman?) Nowadays, Audacia is the Program Officer for Online Communications and Campaigns at the International Women’s Health Coalition, and the co-founder of advocacy organization Sex Work Awareness. Audacia also hosts a monthly storytelling series, The Red Umbrella Diaries, where people who have worked in the sex trade gather to share stories and document their experiences. Their latest live event is this coming Thursday, August 5, and you should probably go. (Even better, you should go with me.)

So what can you learn about freelancing from Audacia?

1. The bio on your website explains how you became involved in “the vast world of sexuality.” How is it that you eventually turned to various forms of media as a means of further exploring this passion?

I wouldn’t say that I “eventually” turned to making media. Media and storytelling have always been an integral piece of my work on sexuality. My first job out of college was a hybrid of the two — I was part of the inaugural curatorial team at the Museum of Sex. In that job, I tangled with representations of sexuality, and began to explore different ways of telling the story — plus I did my first interviews with journalists.

Creating a public record and telling stories about my own and others’ personal experiences has always seemed both compelling and political to me, and since I didn’t see representations I liked out in the world, I set out to make them myself.

2. It seems to me that you intuitively knew to diversify before “diversify” became the latest, entrepreneurial buzzword. What led you to turn down so many different avenues of the media world?

I’m interested in lots of different things, and when I was starting out with new media six years ago, there weren’t as many how to and best practices guides, and I didn’t have money to hire other people to work for me, so through trial and error I learned how to do a lot of different things, like install and modify a WordPress site, shoot and edit videos, do basic graphic design, self-promotion… all that. But mostly, I have the kind of personality that just likes and gets irrationally excited by new challenges — which is why I keep trying new things.

3. And jumping off from the previous question, have you found that there has been any one medium that has worked best, as far as spreading your message goes, or any one that you enjoy working with more than others?

I think the main thing I’ve learned about the different mediums is that they are, well, different. When I started it was with the attitude of — I just need to get my stuff out there and then people will know about it! But over the six years since I’ve started blogging, I’ve really begun to understand how important it is to have a clue, a strategy, and targeted audiences you want to talk to and interact with.

For a web project I’m overseeing right now I did an exercise of thinking up all the types of people who might come to the site, how they’d get there, what they’d be looking for, and what we’d want them to take away.

It’s a good exercise and definitely made it really clear that there is no “general public” — you have to get more precise than that.

I think that text content is still the best way to spread your message online because it’s easily indexed by Google, so if you blog for a few years you build up a lot of content and relevant searches that tie back to your work. The people who read blogs aren’t necessarily the folks who look for podcasts on iTunes or browse video shows on Blip TV or hang out with their friends on Facebook. This is a good thing, but sometimes it means you need to have one or two ways to reach out instead of being everywhere all the time. That said, planning is a great thing — but impulsive experimenting is awesome too, as long as you learn something from it.

4. I’ve found that my readers have a difficult time with identity. I know I do. When someone asks, What do you do? I’m usually at a complete loss as to whether I should say freelancer; writer; editor; career coach; publishing professional; sex writer; etc. How does one summarize the entirety of their professional identity into one simple phrase or sentence, especially when they do so many different things? On your website, you describe yourself as a “media maker,” which is such a smart phrase to use. How has your identity shifted over the years, and have there ever been times when you’ve struggled to define yourself in the context of your work?

My personal struggle with identity is usually having to figure out how much personal information I want to reveal. I’m a former sex worker, and that’s a big part of how I became the person I am today and a big motivation to create media and support sex workers in creating media that represents us in ways that are both accurate and interesting.

I like describing myself as a media maker because I think it captures the spectrum of what I do. It’s always interesting to see how other people describe me, though, kind of an indication of how well my branding is working. Many people describe me as a “writer,” –which isn’t untrue because I’ve been blogging for six years, edited $pread magazine for three, and wrote a book called Naked on the Internet -- but I always find that so strange because I’d never stop my self-description at that word. It’s equally weird when people refer to me as a filmmaker (though likewise true), so it’s not just that one identity that seems strange to me.

5. You also describe yourself as an advocate, and your latest monthly storytelling series, the Red Umbrella Diaries, is your newest form of advocacy. What led you to storytelling as a form of advocacy? How do you feel it helps you to raise awareness and inspire change?

I think that storytelling is the building block of movement making.

Without personal stories, it’s hard to get people to buy into the political aims of a movement.

Stories make difficult topics like sex work real and relatable, not just depressing statistics. I’ve done a wide range of activist work over the past decade, and I don’t think storytelling is the be-all end-all, but it’s a good basis for understanding what you’re working toward and what changes you want for your community.

Over the last two years, I’ve done two annual media training workshops for sex workers, called Speak Up!, and that’s a way to develop the skill set of creating messages and sticking to a story. But as I’ve developed that, I also realized it was important to do stories for the sake of telling them and bringing people together to listen — so that’s what the Red Umbrella Diaries is about. The project includes a live monthly event, an audio podcast, and a blog carnival, and I’m going to start doing storytelling workshops soon.

6. Bonus question! What is your top tip for those looking to diversify, but confused about how they can build a unified platform?

Have a place that brings everything together and links to everything you do. Update it, even if it feels like you’re being repetitive.

Also — make good aesthetic choices. Visual branding is important and good graphic design is really valuable. For people who are primarily writers, this can be a bit of a leap. Hire someone to design a look and feel for your projects — and reference it throughout the different projects you do.

Because 2009 was a rough one.

This time last year, it seemed that — no matter how desperately I looked — it was impossible to find paying work.

But then, at the end of 2009, shortly after I had started a new part-time job at YourTango, Ian Kerner contacted me about co-writing an ebook with him for his new Good In Bed web project. Several months later, I was contacted by someone at AOL’s Patch about copy editing. The other month, an editor at The Frisky asked me if I’d be interested in writing a regular sex column for them. And then, the other week, someone at Psych Central e-mailed me, asking if I would be interested in writing for their site, as one of their editors had seen my LoveMom piece on depression, and had been impressed.

I’m not trying to gloat (though sometimes I like to point at my husband and say neener-neener). I’m just sayin’… it’s totally possible to bring in new projects without lifting a finger. How?

Okay. This is a two-part process, so listen carefully. Basically? Work your ass off while simultaneously developing (and maintaining) relationships with others in your field.

What? You didn’t think it would be easy, did you?

Work Your Ass Off:

1. Continue brainstorming new ideas, researching markets, writing up query letters, sending out pitches… and then? Do it all over again. Be relentless.

2. Don’t allow yourself to get discouraged when business is slow. It just means that you have to hustle more. The more you hustle, the more you’ll be rewarded, even if the rewards are not immediate. And those pitches that were rejected, or those proposals that were turned down? It’s nothing personal. Rather, it’s bad timing. Or a not-quite-right fit. Or a too-small budget. Or any number of other things. Be relentless, and the work will start picking up again. Allow yourself to wallow, and the few opportunities that are actually out there will pass you by.

3. When things are slow, you can also stay afloat by getting creative. A year ago, I had to face the fact that blogging, pitching, and copy editing weren’t paying the bills. I asked myself how I could expand my business, using my skills and experience to offer up something completely new. As a result, I ended up on the other side of the publishing fence, editing other people’s work at YourTango. I also entered a career coaching certification program, and eventually launched a career coaching practice focused on the publishing industry. Now, if any one aspect of my career slows down, there are other things I can turn to. It opens me up to more opportunities, and the sense of security I receive from that is priceless.

If You Don’t Schmooze, You Lose:

As a result of all the work I continued to do after the New York Sun folded — in addition to all of the other ways in which I tried to connect with new people, and stay connected with former colleagues — my professional network has expanded exponentially in the past year, and things have slowly but steadily picked up. That gig at YourTango? It didn’t hurt that I had worked with one editor in the past, at another publication, and it also didn’t hurt that I had written two pieces for the site the year before (one of which had performed quite well, landing me appearances on both a radio show, and on CNN). How did Ian Kerner find me? I had interviewed him for an article in Time Out New York several months earlier, so I was on his mind as he began planning his latest web venture. Patch? They found me through LinkedIn, oddly enough. And my fairly new sex column? I was actually in contact with an editor at The Frisky because of a content partnership the site had with YourTango, and when this editor’s colleagues decided they should launch a sex column, she thought of me.

Every day, new and amazing opportunities pop up because of the people I’ve worked with in the past, or met both in person or online.

How can you build similar relationships?

1. Stay connected with former colleagues, editors, clients, sources, etc. Because, as the saying goes, one person may know someone who knows someone else who knows someone who’d like to hire you.

2. Develop new relationships by taking classes, attending industry events, and participating heavily in the social media sphere. And remember: the key in developing these new relationships is good karma. Don’t be transparently looking out for yourself, asking others what they can do for you. Rather, ask yourself what you can do for them. Connect them with people they might like to work with. Ask them to collaborate on a project. Share their amazing content or brilliant products. Interact and get to know them.

3. Be authentic. I hate being sales-y. I’d much rather just be… me. Luckily, it seems to work, both in my writing and in my business relationships. So instead of practicing your elevator speech, just engage. The connections you make this way will be much stronger, and much more real. And also much more mutually beneficial.

And then? Don’t worry! If you follow all of these tips, you’ll eventually pick up momentum. And at that point, the work will just start pouring in, all without you having to lift a finger. ;)

Related: Nothing To Do With Luck, The Road To Freelance Success Is Paved With Good Karma

If you’re dying to see me in a video interview, head over here to see our chat about coaching, consulting, sex writing, and the many levels of TMI.

Aside from the amount of times I say “um,” it’s not too horrific. In fact, I dare say that I actually sound… articulate. ::confetti::

Related: Receive Some Guaranteed Awesome In Your Inbox, Career Stalled? What You’re Doing Wrong

Yeah. That does sound familiar.

Last week, I was feeling overwhelmed by everything on my plate, so I drew up a to-do list on GQueues. Later on, my pal Nicole came over to talk shop. She wanted to pick my brain about products blogging, online shopping, and what different brands are doing right. (Obviously, she came to me because I used to be a products blogger… and because I’m also the poster child for shopping problems.) After plying me with a massive bottle of Chianti, and taking notes, she took a look at my to-do list and determined that it was all wrong.

I sputtered that I was doing this to pay the bills… and that to get my condo sold… and that other thing because, well, it just seemed like a good idea. She shushed me. Then she asked:

Where do you want to be a year from now?

I answered without hesitation: “I want to be making a living from my coaching practice.”

She moved different items around on my to-do list, and finally pronounced it Good. While she had left the bill-paying item at the top, she had immediately followed that with everything related to building up my coaching practice: “Draw up outline of content to include in Word Nerd newsletter.”; “Continue working on Job Hopping for Word Nerds.”; “Draw up curriculum plan for e-course.” (She also told me to get more active on Facebook and LinkedIn, for the love of god.) Basically, she took away my excuses, and gave me focus, all with one, simple question.

So ask yourself the same question. And that look at your to-do list and ask these followup questions:

• Is this item necessary to my survival? (the bill-paying stuff)
• Does this item get me closer to my one-year goal?

Everything else? Well, it’s probably not necessary.

Related: Getting It Done, Getting It All Done: Your Master To-Do List

About a year ago, in the midst of the FLX query challenge and looking to branch out into new markets, I pitched Inside Jersey with an idea for a north Jersey wine tour. Basically, I thought it would be nifty to show how you could still enjoy tastings and wine culture in an area without wineries, via wine bars, shop tastings, etc.

The EIC thought it was a nifty idea, but then was all: how about you include wineries, and do The Ultimate NJ Wine Tour? And because it included the word “ultimate,” I got way excited and proceeded to visit all 33 NJ wineries registered through the NJ Wine Growers’ Association, in addition to wine shops, restaurants, bars, etc. My husband and I even took part in a wine making class (we bottle our Cabernet in September!).

We did it all in three, frenetic months, and I handed in my finished piece at the end of 2009. Finally, a full year after I first pitched it, it’s in print (go to page 66).

But this isn’t about the pitch to publish process, or even about how ideas can transform themselves into completely new stories. (Another time?) Rather, it’s about how one writing assignment had benefits far beyond the immediate financial gain.

You see… about a year ago, after a fairly melodramatic fight (you can read about my struggles with depression here), my husband and I finally decided to shell out the cash for couples therapy in an attempt to save our marriage. The topic that came up again and again? My husband and I weren’t seeing enough of each other. We weren’t spending quality time together. We weren’t communicating or sharing new experiences with each other.

Of course, it was because of money. And work. He was stuck at a full-time job he hated, while also trying to build up a web development company on the side. I was trying to break into new writing markets, and recover the income I had lost when the New York Sun folded, while also managing a products blog over at Nerve and entering a career coaching certification program. I was trying to create boundaries between my personal and professional life, and felt my husband should be doing the same. I understood the financial pressure he was under, but felt that he should also be making our marriage a priority.

So how did more work make our marriage work?

The wine tasting was a shared interest and, once I received the assignment, I convinced Michael he should help out with my research. We traveled across NJ together, even spending several weekends away in order to cover the southern half of the state. We shared glasses of pinot noir on outdoor patios. We crushed grapes together. Once, we even went to seven wineries in one day! (I survived that one by using my husband’s glass as the dump bucket; he fared less well.) We spent every single weekend together, immersed in this shared interest of ours, and it revitalized our marriage.

So how has writing added value to your life?

Related: Better Than Money

[Image via]